she looked like the bat from fern gully.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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