I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
