I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
