I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
