happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
