yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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