I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize