They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
