Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
