gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
