I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
