I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So gin and wine won't be happening again
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
