he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
