i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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