Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
