"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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