What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
