Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
