Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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