While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize