i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
