Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
