So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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