Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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