idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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