He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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