Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
