There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize