the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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