Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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