he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
