paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize