Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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