She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
