There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i will never coherently bang her
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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