I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
