Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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