you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
