billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
