I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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