His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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