Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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