I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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