I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's not a walk of shame if you run
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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