His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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