my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
