I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize