THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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