Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize