I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
