yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
