what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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