Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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