The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
