i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
