I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
