Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
