Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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