We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
