Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
