FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize