no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
