Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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