She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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