69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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