I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
